Love the one you're with

If someone had told me two years ago that I would be in Africa with DH now, I would have laughed hysterically. I spent many years imagining what my life would be like with DH in it again, but I guess that deep down it seemed like that one elusive thing.

Now, I am here. All I have ever dreamed of is to have my family… DH and the kids all together under the same roof. This week, the Canadian Embassy denied DH’s application to visit Canada. Insufficient traveling funds, not enough proof of his connection to his daughter and not believing that he will return here were the given reasons. There is no appeal. My dreams of having us all together under one roof have been trampled on by a bureaucrat, sitting at her desk, deciding about the fate of my life. I have been given a verdict by someone who doesn’t know me, my family, our history, and has judged us on what she read on a bunch of paper. And there is no appeal.

What we now face is 18+ months and significant lawyers fees to begin a PR application. Which is do able on paper. When applied to life, this means 18+ months at least apart with no guarantee of success. When you are in your 40’s and have kids, that kind of time isn’t something you want to have to manage. There are other things that need to go on (like life) during that time. It is insulting for my government to assume that people should stop their lives waiting for due process.

I am fully aware of what life is like in Nigeria and knowing this, my main goal is to be able to leave here with DH. He has expressed his wish to travel back here from time to time and I get that because I want teenie to come here as well. But DH and I both know that we can’t live here permanently without being able to leave now and then. Anyone who has lived here and has traveled out will understand what I mean.

Unless you are filthy rich, intimately connected with the government here (thereby making you filthy rich) staying here in comfort for any length of time is difficult to say the least. If this weren’t the case, I wouldn’t have at least 3 people tell me everyday that they want to leave.

We aren’t filthy rich, and both of us have each other. That’s about it. So, now we have to make a difficult decision about me possibly heading to Canada for a couple of months to tidy things up, get some moola and do more tidying. What pains me most is leaving DH with all of this. My heart hurts just thinking about it. We are each others support, counsel and best friend. At the very time we need each other the most, our situation is asking us to separate. Again.

Right now I am suffering from some kind of stomach bug which just won’t go away and this is not making things any better. I feel exhausted and right now I am sustaining myself on toast and Indomie. I have to say that it is the worst kind of weight loss plan.

I pray daily for some guidance, for a miracle, for some intervention. I am trying to hard to be strong and focused, but the emotions are getting the better of me.

For everyone out there who has their family around them, the person you love, your kids, all under one roof, be thankful. Kiss them. Tell them how much you cherish the fact that you can all be together anytime.

I can’t emphasize enough that what you have, is truly a gift.

Until next time,

Jennifer

xo DH, teenie, cutie, and S. I love you all.